Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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