Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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a horse walks into a barn

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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hi my name is? joe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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