Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

what did the duck say to the dog. quack

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

fart

Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

I dislike old people.

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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