Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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ur mother

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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There is a car full of black people.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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My sister has to take a dump

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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fart

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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