Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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whats better than sex? cookies

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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