snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Please don't rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ollie is a fag so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

thumb_up thumb_down

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops