How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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KEVIN HART

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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whats better than shoes feet

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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