Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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KEVIN HART

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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