Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

alcoholism kills

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

There is a car full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops