What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +49

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

thumb_up thumb_down +43

suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Women's Golf

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops