Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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ok i got one for ya 2 Penn State coaches walk in to a butt....

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch, he says, I did not see that bar there."

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel your skin and eat them, they die.

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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What do people say? words.

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm bored of this how about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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