What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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come along children

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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women's rights

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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