- Anti Joke

your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

Noah is Smart.

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

Knock Knock. Go away!

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

I LIKE TURLES.

knock knock you may come in

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

your life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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