What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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