I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Obamacare!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

KEVIN HART

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops