A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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ekoj

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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