A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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I'm Halarious.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Dinosaur!

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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