Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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Anti jokes are funny

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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