An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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Slavery

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fart

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Freedom of Speech

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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