Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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A Jew returns change.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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