What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

So this blonde walks into a library.

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

mitt romney

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Women Drivers.

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

I am black.

What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

Anti jokes are funny

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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