A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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My sister has to take a dump

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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