What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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