Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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