Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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