Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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