Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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