Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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A house comes around the corner.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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