What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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