What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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My cat just died.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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