A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i saw amango it splootered

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops