Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Jimmy Saville

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All of these jokes are about white people

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Cripples are lame.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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