A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

A dancer walks into a barre

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

Brain fart

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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