If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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