Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did one computer say to the other .........

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops