Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -8

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops