roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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