What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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A gay man watches football.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops