What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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want more?

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops