Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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SPAMS!!!

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barack osama

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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I won the game.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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