what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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