I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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