What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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