How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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69.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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