how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Pickle

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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My cat just died.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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