what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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