Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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