A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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