Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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