What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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