Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A muslim paints Mohammed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops