Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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