Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Gustavo Andrade

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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