Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Tall asians

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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