Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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